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| I haven't written in quite some time -- none of us have really. In the end, I'm not really writing now either. I simply re-read a post I made in March of last year, and realized that over a year later, I'm still going through the same struggle. I found it profound (how conceited is it for me to type that one?) and decided to re-post it.
"But it's time to face the truth, I will never be with you."I
haven't written anything in a while. For the first time I didn't write
anything on the anniversary of my dad's death. I wrote on my birthday
-- but not about my birthday. I finished the whole Campus Crusade
intern application process and await a decision, and have written about
none of it. I'm still unemployed and my finances are dwindling, and I
haven't written about that. I saw a childhood friend in concert and had my face rocked off -- but didn't write about that.
In short -- I haven't written.
So I decided to write, and this has been very much just been a "what
mood am I in right now?" type of writing. Hence the opening line.
Don't be deceived, the line is not about any single person. I
haven't had my heart bruised yet again (it happens all too frequently
and easily to be real "heart break"). No, this is rather the death of
a concept and not of my affection for a single member of the opposite
sex.
I've grown fond of explaining it this way to people: I'm a hopeless
romantic who's gone from emphasizing the second part to emphasizing
the first part. I've spent years of my life as the uncurable romantic
guy, just waiting for my "one true love." I've lost that concept.
Instead now I find myself as an uncurable romantic, who has realized
that it is just something I have to let go of.
I still believe in "true love" -- don't get me wrong. I don't, however, believe everyone has "true love" waiting for them -- and I'm one of those that doesn't.
I'm not putting this out here as a "good thing" -- I'm not putting
this out here as a "bad thing" -- I'm putting this out there because it
is stuck in my head and heart at 4:30 in the morning and writing this
is my therapy.
Don't misinterpret my message -- I'm not saying it is "bad" to be single or this somehow makes me (or you) less of a person.
What I am saying -- and doing -- is that I have to reconcile two
distinct parts of who I am. The "hopeless romantic" who wants nothing
more than to buy her flowers, to pull out her chair for her, to help
her with her jacket, to open the door for her, to call her merely to
remind her how much he loves her, to simply be with her -- and the guy
who wants nothing more than God's will for him, who believes God should
be all he needs, who believes God when He says He has the best
intentions towards him, who believes the phrase "God has someone for
you" is a horrible cliche and should be banned from everyone's
vocabulary, who is realizing that being single gives him an incredible
opportunity to do things he never could if he had her, who is coming to
grips with the idea that "she" doesn't exist.
These two people are worlds apart -- yet they exist in one body and one heart.
Thought of the Day: "If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me" - Anna Nalick, _Breathe (2 am)_ | | |
| "
She's a million miles away from me
Separated by a hollow wooden door
And some time we can't erase
Serves me right to let her in
The first time she knocked
And all this wandering
Got you nothing
And you were ready to
But never could
Things you never saw in me she'll see
Observations that she'd heard from other people
But she never understood
Serves her right not knowing
Just exactly what she wants
And all this wandering
Got me nothing
And you were ready to
But never could
Are you happy wandering?
Remember sitting on a car that night
Clouds rolled out
Unveiling lights around the bay
And you told me all those things
Remember that
You told me you can't match your clothes
Remember that
I confessed that when I laugh sometimes I'm cryin'
And we sat and
Didn't talk for half-an-hour
Remember that
alone
'Cause I won't remember anymore
And all this wandering
And all this wandering"
- Wandering, Ben Folds
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| here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend your cool...just type it in man!
Opening Credits: You and Me - Lifehouse
Waking Up: Dream On - Aerosmith
Falling in Love: Sweet Child O' Mine - Guns and Roses
First Song: Don't Cry - Guns and Roses
Fight Song: Patience - Guns and Roses
Breaking Up: Trying - Lifehouse
Prom: Make You Cry - Jonathan Coulton (ok, this one is awesome for it
being the complete horrible prom song. "On some sunny day you're gonna
fall for me the way I fell for you. That's when I'm gonna make you
cry.")
Life: I Believe in a Thing Called Love - The Darkness
Mental Breakdown: Smart Went Crazy - Atmosphere (Wow, could not have found a better song on the list actually)
Driving: Sympathy for the Devil - Guns and Roses
Flashback: On Your Porch - The Format
Getting Back: November Rain - Guns and Roses
Wedding: Break Your Heart - Barenaked Ladies (much like Prom, this is
hilarious because it is possibly one of the worst songs possible to
play at a wedding. "I couldn't tell you I was happy you were gone, so I
lied and said I missed you when we were apart.")
Birth of Child: Crazy Little Thing Called Love - Michael Buble
Final Battle: I Write Sins Not Tragedies - Panic! At the Disco
Death Scene: Mad World - Gary Jules (Excellent for a slow motion death sequence)
Funeral Song: Total Eclipse of the Heart (studio version) - The Dan
Band (excellent because the song itself is a great fit, but it's the
Dan Band version so it's hilarious)
End Credits: Code Monkey - Jonathan Coulton
Bloopers: There's Always Someone Cooler Than You - Ben Folds | | |
| A bunch of us took this once before. Cory edged me out at the time. I believe our scores at the time were in the 120's or so. This list is a little different. Also, it's obviously been added to since it was started as 110 is much too low of a number and not even half of what's on the list.
If you've seen over 110 movies, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 240 movies on this list. Put your score in header and re-post.
(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club
() Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane
Total so far: 8
(x) The Princess Bride
(x) Anchorman
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
(x) Labyrinth
(x) Saw II
(x) White Noise
() White Oleander
(x) Anger Management
(x) 50 First Dates
() The Princess Diaries
() The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 16
(x) Scream
(x) Scream 2
(x) Scream 3
() Scary Movie
() Scary Movie 2
(x) Scary Movie 3
() Scary Movie 4
(x) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
(x) American Wedding
(x) American Pie Band Camp
Total so far: 24
() Harry Potter 1
() Harry Potter 2
() Harry Potter 3
() Harry Potter 4
(x) Resident Evil 1
(x) Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
() Little Black Book
(x) The Village
() Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 28
(x) Finding Nemo
(x) Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
(x) The Grinch
(x) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
() White Chicks
(x) Butterfly Effect
(x) 13 Going on 30
(x) I, Robot
(x) Robots
Total so far: 37
(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
() Universal Soldier
(x)Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
() Along Came Polly
() Deep Impact
(x) KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers
(x) Eight Crazy Nights
() Joe Dirt
(x) KING KONG
Total so far: 45
() A Cinderella Story
(x) The Terminal
(x) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
() Passport to Paris
() Dumb & Dumber
(x) Dumber & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination
(x) Final Destination 2
(x) Final Destination 3
(x) Halloween
(x) The Ring
() The Ring 2
(x) Surviving Christmas
() Flubber
Total so far: 54
(x) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
() Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
() Ghost Ship
() From Hell
(x) Hellboy
(x) The Secret Window
(x) I Am Sam
(x) The Whole Nine Yards
() The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 60
(x) The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child's Play
(x) Seed of Chucky
(x) Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
() Just Married
(x) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
(x) Remember the Titans
(x) Coach Carter
(x) The Grudge
(x) The Mask
() Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 72
(x) Bad Boys 2
() Joy Ride
(x) Lucky Number Sleven
(x) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
() Lone Star
(x) Bedazzled
(x) Predator
() Predator II
(x) The Fog
(x) Ice Age
(x) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
() Curious George
Total: 82
(x) Independence Day
() Cujo
() A Bronx Tale
() Darkness Falls
(x) Christine
(x) ET
() Children of the Corn
() My Boss' Daughter
(x) Maid in Manhattan
(x) Frailty
(x) War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
(x) Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 90
() Best Bet
(x) She's All That
() Calendar Girls
(x) Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
() Event Horizon
() Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
() Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
(x) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 98
(x) X-Men
(x) X2
(x) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
(x) Sky High
() Jeepers Creepers
() Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
(x) Freaky Friday
(x) Reign of Fire
(x) Equilibrium
(x) The Skulls
(x) Cruel Intentions
(x) Cruel Intentions 2
() The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
Total so far: 114
() Swimfan
(x) Miracle on 34th street
(x) Old School
(x) The Notebook
(x) K-Pax
() Krippendorf's Tribe
(x) A Walk to Remember
() Ice Castles
() Boogeyman
(x) The 40-year-old-virgin
Total so far: 120
(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 126
(x) Baseketball
() Hostel
() Waiting for Guffman
(x) House of 1000 Corpses
(x) Devils Rejects
(x) Elf
(x) Highlander
() Mothman Prophecies
(x) American History X
(x) Three Amigos
Total so far: 133
(x) The Jacket
() Kung Fu Hustle
() Shaolin Soccer
() Night Watch
() Monster
(x) Titanic
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
(x) Dawn Of the Dead
() Willard
Total so far: 137
(x) High Tension
(x) Club Dread
(x) Hulk
(x) Hook
(x) Chronicle Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
(x) 28 days later
() Orgazmo
() Phantasm
() Waterworld
Total so far: 143
(x) Kill Bill vol 1
(x) Kill Bill vol 2
(x) Mortal Kombat
(x) Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
(x) Wolf Creek
(x) Kingdom of Heaven
() The Hills Have Eyes
() I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
() The Last House on the Left
() Re-Animator
(x) Army of Darkness
Total so far: 150
(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
(x) Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
(x) Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 158
(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
(x) Animatrix
(x) Evil Dead
(x) Evil Dead 2
(x) Team America World Police
(x) Red Dragon
(x) Silence of the Lambs
(x) Hannibal
Total: 168
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| So over on his MySpace blog, Kevin Smith posted his "celebrity playlist" that had been compiled for Apple and iTunes, only to never see the light of day because of the length of his comments. He then asked for his readers to share their 10 song playlists in response to his. I did so, and then decided to post it here so (a) I have something actually posted here and (b) my music geek friends can point and laugh and be elitist on me. 
Ok, I'll give this a quick shot. Be aware that despite surrounding myself with them, and despite being a total movie geek, I am the farthest thing possible from a music geek. But here's my shot at it (in no particular order):
Track: On Your Porch
Artist: The Format
Say what you will about emo and all that junk, but this song breaks me down into a sobbing mess every time. I heard it on accident when in the warehouse at work as one of the media guys had his iPod plugged in and it was playing. Having lost my dad almost four years ago now and having a total fear of not living up to someone he could be proud of, the second verse turns me into a crying baby with the lines "And me, I ran, I couldn't even look at him, For fear I'd have to say goodbye, And as I start to leave, He grabs me by the shoulder and he tells me, "Whats left to lose? You've done enough, And if you fail then you fail but not to us, 'Cause these last three years, I know they have been hard, But now it's time to get out of the desert and into the sun, Even if its alone."
Track: The Flag
Artist: Barenaked Ladies
Album: Gordon
Being a huge BNL fan, this is actually my favorite song by them because of the fact that even the diehards forget it exists. And you want sad songs? This has got it in spades. "The phone rings, it's early, it's seven o'clock. He says sorry I woke you, but I just had to talk you know last night, remember when I tried to choke you? I didn't mean it, I was drunk, it was only a joke" "They're complicated people leading complicated lives, and he complicates their problems by telling complicated lies He tells her he's sorry, she tells him it's over, he tells her he's sorry, she says over and over You've never really known that when the white flag is flown, no one no one no one has won the war."
Track: Wake Up
Artist: Coheed and Cambria
Album: Good Apollo, I'm Burning Star IV: Volume 1. From Fear Through The Eyes Of Madness
Again, I tend to share Kev's leaning towards sad songs. Maybe it's the tendency of fat guys. Of course he's a fat guy with a hot wife -- I'm terminally single. "I'm going to ride this plane out of your life again. I wish that I could stay but you argue. More than this I wish you could've seen my face In backseat staring out the window." goes the first verse, followed by a thought many have had in their lives during a particularly painful break-up -- "I'll do anything for you, Kill anyone for you."
Track: Skullcrusher Mountain
Artist: Jonathan Coulton
Album: Where Tradition Meets Tomorrow
Picking just one song from Coulton proved to be an incredibly tough task. This slot could easily have been filled by his covers of Baby Got Back or We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions, or his annoying co-worker zombie in Re: Your Brains, or the all too familiar feeling of crushing on the cute secretary and dealing with pompous bosses in Code Monkey. Instead the spot is won out by this mad scientist sung love ballad. Don't we all just want someone who would make us a half pony-half monkey monster? (Honorable mention to Make You Cry for the line "On some sunny day, you're gonna fall for me, the way I fell for you. That's when I'm gonna make you cry."
Track: F**k You Lucy
Artist: Atmosphere
Album: God Loves Ugly
I don't know that I've ever heard a more real, dead-on bitter break-up song. In fact, you don't even have to be breaking up for this track to hit home. It's an ideal song for rejection too. The opening verse sets the stage with "She said that she still wants a friendship She cant live her life without me as a friend I cant figure out why I'd give a damn to what she wants I don't understand the now before the then." I listened to it over and over again back around the beginning of 2006 when I confessed my feelings to a friend only to get the "not ready to date" speech and hear about how important our friendship was -- two weeks before she started dating someone else.
Track: Hallelujah
Artist: Rufus Wainwright
Sure, there have been a billion versions of this song and we could debate who has the best, but this is the one that introduced me to the song thanks to the Shrek soundtrack. If for nothing else it gets points for the line "all I ever learned from love was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you"
Track: Generic Crunk Rap
Artist: MC Lars
On the first Sucks Less there was a feature on MC Chris, something I could deeply appreciate. Another artist that could be grouped into the "nerdcore" category is MC Lars. As much as I enjoy Hot Topic is Not Punk Rock, Generic Crunk Rap wins out for blasting the horrible "music" that is today's crunk category of rap and hip-hop. It is best summed up by one section of the song that name drops some of the pioneers of hip-hop in Grandmaster Flash, KRS, Run-DMC, Rakim, Chuck D, and De La Soul before apologizing for killing hip-hop.
Track: My Immortal
Artist: Evanescenece
Album: Fallen
Yeah, I know it may not be "cool" to drop an Evanescenece song in this list, but I already said I'm not a music geek, so I don't care. This song is one that carries a loaded punch to me because of my own experiences with it. Driving home at one in the morning on February 21, 2003 I was listening to it over and over again thinking about my dad. The morning of February 22, 2003 he died. The lyrics were already haunting and fitting enough, and with that added punch, it's a song that I both love and struggle to listen to.
Track: Wandering
Artist: Ben Fold's Five
The whole time I've been typing this list I knew Ben had to be included somewhere, I just couldn't settle on a song. In the end, this song is the most fitting as it is because of Kev himself that I discovered it and fell in love with it. It was the inclusion in Jersey Girl (a movie I, unlike most, will defend) and the context it was used in that exposed me to it.
Track: My Father's Gun
Artist: Elton John
As I began the list with something that breaks me down into a sobbing mess, so I end it. This song is included not so much because of the song itself, but because of the context I think of it in. Elizabethtown is a movie that was blasted from all fronts that carries a very special place in my heart. I saw it alone, in a theater empty except for one woman who sat silently almost half a theater behind me. In the end, it is the only way I could have watched it, as I sat there at many points throughout the movie just bawling my eyes out while watching the screen. As I wrote about the first track on the list, having lost my dad almost four years ago now and having a total fear of not living up to someone he could be proud of the main plot of the main character losing his father and his attempt to deal with being a total and absolute failure professionally resonated deep within me. This track isn't just about the music, it's about the fact that I close my eyes and see those scenes of him and his father in their house when he was a child, and think of the memories I have with my own father.
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